Worst Situations to be in When a Fire Alarm Goes Off

While Eating in a Restaurant Your food is probably getting cold while you're stuck outside. Or it is just getting a little overcooked. 

Sleeping Just imagine being in the middle of a nice relaxing dream and then flashing lights and a loud alarm wake you up. You stumble/fall out of bed, wander around trying to get your bearings, can't find a coat, can't find shoes, forget your key, and lock yourself out. Sounds lovely doesn't it? And now you get to stand outside in the cold night pissed off because you're missing your beauty sleep and you have important things to do in the morning.

In the Shower Now you're naked. You probably just but shampoo in your hair so you're all soapy. And last but not least you're all wet. Now you have to scramble to get your clothes on or you just go outside in a towel where everybody stares at you in pity.

Drunk Considering you're drunk and the fire alarm goes off, its probably your fault. Your probably scared your going to get in trouble. Also, you're dazed and confused.

When you're about to get laid Now nobody likes a fire alarm cock block.

During Sex Now you're naked and you have a hard on and you don't get to finish. Sucks.

During Drunk Sex Same as before only now you're more confused and have a slower reaction time.

During Shower Sex Now you're wet, naked, have a hard on, don't get to finish, and now you're probably going to be really embarrassed because you and your partner are going to be stuck outside wet and everybody is wondering why you are both wet.

During Drunk Shower Sex Actually this could just make the prior situation a lot more fun and interesting.

While You're Having a Baby I can't even imagine.

So there's my list of possible worst case scenarios for a fire alarm to go off. I hope you enjoyed it. I didn't enjoy the fire alarm going off while I was trying to eat my hash browns this morning. Damn I was hungry.

Peace Out,

Sassy Cat

Obstacles Encountered in a Speech Class

Obstacle #1 Picking a Topic

I don't understand why this seems to be the most difficult thing to ever do. Picking a topic for a speech is like picking your poison. Let's start with something I recently had to do, a How To speech. What do these people want to know how to do? So many things. This topic only makes me realize I really don't know how to do anything interesting whatsoever. I can make you a sandwich kind of. Even that is considered to easy of a topic. Then people tell you to do something related to a sport you do. I swam in high school. I can't demonstrate anything swimming related in a class room. I kinda need a pool to do that. Umm... what do I know how to do? Blog? I don't want to reveal to the real world that I do this. This is my secret between me and the entire world wide web. I'm not going to talk about this in  classroom. You just gotta pick something, go with your gut, and move on with your life.

Obstacle #2 Stupid Visual Aids

I feel like I'm forced to constantly think of new and exciting visual aids that go beyond just power points. Here is my problem with this. Think to yourself who gives speeches the most... professors. And what do most of these professors only ever do when the teach in class... use power points. The power points are very good and helpful and I like them. Why can't a power point be enough for these speech teaching teachers? Because they are try to get us to think out of the box I suppose. And I will admit that a lot of teachers use other visual aids on occasion, but certainly not for every speech they give. I just want to be able to make a beautiful power point and have it be respected for how beautiful and well-crafted it is. My power point shouldn't be hated on because power points or used a lot. Thinking about it I actually love power points. They are so helpful and nice.

Obstacle #3 I'm Usually Nervous

I don't know why I'm nervous. I don't really even care about giving this speech. I just know that someone is judging everything I do while I give this speech. I don't like that. Stop writing little notes about how I'm not standing on two feet at once or that my voice gets higher pitched as I go along. I can't help it. I can give presentations in class just fine as long as that class isn't a speech class. There's way to much going on that I have to think about and I don't get to think about what I'm telling you anymore.

So there is a semi organized rant about speech classes and what I don't like about them. I actually think everyone should take a speech class since its a good thing to learn and be familiar with. Be able to present your thoughts and ideas clearly is a crucial life skill. I just needed something to blog about and that's what is on my mind right now. So I hope you don't dislike my blog because it is pretty whiney. Again I would like to point out that I haven't edited this at all. Hopefully there aren't any mistakes. I'll be less lazy later. I have homework now.

Ta Ta For Now,

Sassy Cat

Life Skills

I'm bad at catching my typos in my blog. Somebody, perhaps my boyfriend, enjoys pointing this out to me.  So I apologize to all my grammar savvy friends for my lack off English writing skills. I'm working on it. Thus this blog to help me practice. I won't be annoyed with you if you comment and point these mistakes out to me. I do it to other people. Its a learning process. Let's learn together. 


Therefore I'm inspired to enlighten all of you on some lovely life skills.


Communication Oooh a comm major telling you why communication is important. Yes, communication is important. Yes, everybody does it. But, as most comm classes will tell you're not as good at communicating as you think you are. No one is. Anyways since not everyone reading this is a a lovely comm major like myself or trying to take over the world like myself, let's focus on some useful things to help communicate. First off, talk about your feelings bro! I have feelings, and I like to share them and for the most part. I think I'm pretty honest, and its a wonderful thing to be able to communicate all of that. Also, you should consider listening to be a great communication skill and understanding who you're talking to. See here I'm just shouting my nonsense at the internet, probably not the most effective way to communicate to you all. Oh well, I consider this mostly talking to myself anyways.


Be Prepared Boy Scout Motto "Always be prepared." Yes, you should be prepared. You know what I do to keep myself so prepared. I mean really prepared for anything? I play the "what if?" game with myself all the time. Especially at work because I'm a lifeguard so A. Its my job to be prepared and B. it can get really boring. So I just sit in my chair an look around and think to myself "what would I do if that old lady forgot how to swim?" or "How am I going to yell at that child if he decides to moon someone?" This kind of game applies to other things to. Like in lecture "What would I do if a terrorist ran into the classroom?" Probably hide under my desk, but you see my backpack is usually there so I would have to move that first, then hide under my desk, and the I could hide behind my backpack as well. Oh I should also call campus security while I'm hiding. Now I'm slightly prepared for such a situation. Which probably will never happen, and I'm not really expecting it to, I'm just ready for it.


Organization I'm just going to say that you should be organized because nobody likes to misplace or lose their stuff. Or forget things.


Kindness If you're not a nice person nobody is going to like you. So, you should be nice. So you can have friends and feel happy about yourself. Personally I just want to be a likable person. I believe I'm slightly nicer in real life. Sassy cat just has to get some sassy out.


Positivity This is going to help you be a live a happy life. I know it can be super hard sometimes. Try to surround yourself with good people, good attitudes, and work towards something. If your life has purpose and direction you are naturally going to become happier. College makes me happy because I'm so close to really achieving something I feel like. I know what job I want and I'm working on it. Set goals. Like trying to run a mile in 7 minutes or finishing a painting.


There is more I want to put in this but I forgot some of the life skills I was going to blog about. I'm might write more later. Who knows? I have homework and such to do and I've been lazy about blogging so I'm just going to post it. I know there is a random green "e" in here. I was going to fix it but I kinda like it. I should probably proof read more. Sorry for the typos!

Have a Good Day,

Sassy Cat

Facebook is Passive Aggressive

If you are friends with teenage girls on Facebook, then you have most likely witnessed a terrible Facebook status crimes.

I'm going to start off this post by saying that. I personally believe Facebook is not a place for friend. It is a place for vague acquaintances whom I only somewhat care about. The way I see it, when you add someone on Facebook you are inviting him or her to read all your posts, look at all your photo, and then judge you on all that you have chosen to upload. In this current post I will exercise my right to judge my "Facebook Friends" based upon the statuses they have chosen upload. 

Also, I know its always the same song and dance when it comes to people complaining about Facebook statuses, but I'm going to complain about them anyways.

Passive aggressive statuses I don't understand what goes through someone's mind when they post a status such as "I think person X finally gets it." I have actually seen this status and this girl actually said "person X." I promise you I'm not subbing a name out. Do us all a favor and tag the damn person in your status. I know its non of my business but now that you have said something about it that shows up on my feed, I am seriously dying to know. I mean really, I'm reading all your comments, recent posts and creeping hardcore to see if I can figure out who you're talking about. I don't even know you that well. We just go to school together, but I want to know who person X is and what he or she finally got. It's like a detective game. I wonder if your mom is doing the same thing. 

"I guess now I know who my real friends are" or something along those lines I just want to comment that person's status to tell her that you probs still don't know who all your "real" friends are. I also question how good of a friend you are yourself, since you seem to say such rude things about your friends.

People who post about their grades, especially college kids Congratulations go tell mommy to put your report card on the fridge. Nobody else cares. Fuck you, you nerd.

"I have no friends, nobody loves me" This kind of post is only an invitation to your pity party. A pity party that people feel obligated to tell you that they are your friend. Even though they aren't really your friend since you already stated that you have none.

Girls complaining about boys These posts are acceptable if you have sassy single girl swag, or have just ended an unfortunate relationship and are ready to move on with your new sassy life. Not acceptable if you are a whiney little twit. Just saying, every time a girl posts a status about how she needs a boyfriend, her chances of getting a good boyfriend decreases by 50 percent. Boys generally don't like needy, whiney twits.

There are plenty more terrible statuses I have witnessed. For example, I believe a Facebook rule should be implemented that you are only allowed to posts moody song lyrics twice a week. I'm sure we can agree that more than that is really just excessive.

Hugs and Kisses,

Sassy Cat

Slap Happy

I labeled this post slap happy because I slapped someone this weekend and I'm happy about it.  

So here's my story. The other day I was at a party, the cool kind that all the college freshman go to. I was looking pretty hot wearing my polka dot leggings, and I was having a good time dancing with my friends. This all was a good fun time. At some point I was walking upstairs to find my friends when I got a nice slap on my ass. Hell no. I do not appreciate a slap on the ass (unless it's from my boyfriend, but I still don't always like it). So I walked to the bottom of the stairs with all my sass to let those boys know how I felt about that ass slap. He told me to kiss him on the cheek, and he wouldn't do it again. I warned him I was going to slap him, but he just kept pointing to his cheek. So I slapped him right across his face went upstairs and didn't look back. I found all my friends high-fived them and had a good rest of the night.

The reason I'm so gosh darn happy about this minor event is that by slapping that asshole in the face I didn't let it ruin my night. Every time I'm at a dance or party and some guy grabs my waist from behind without even asking if I want to dance or if even me getting to see his face makes me feel terrible. Its like I'm just a chance for them to get a piece of ass. Eww... Or when a guy starts talking to me and finds out I have a boyfriend I can just see him completely lose interest in what I'm saying. Obviously I'm not worth talking to without the possibility of touching my boobs.  Fucking disrespect. I don't always tell every guy that does something like this how it is. Actually I usually don't. I just feel annoyed for a while after. But you know what? I'm fucking tired of letting guys make me feel like crap because I'm not going to whore myself out for them. No girl should feel terrible for a guy treating them that way! If you don't want someone touching you a certain way or talks to you like your useless don't put up with it! Come on girls put your sass on. Maybe some asshole will get what's coming to him.

So be just  be fucking awesome! I totally understand if you're a girl and you just want to be sluts at a party that's totally fine. Be a hottie. Get some! Go do what makes you happy as long as you don't hurt someone else in the process. But don't let those dudes treat you badly. I won't if you won't!

Yours Truly, 

Sassy Cat

Adventures of Donating Blood

Yesterday I was walking back to my dorm in after lunch when I saw signs for a blood drive. I thought to myself that it seemed like it could be fun and I had about an hour and a half until I had to go to my lecture so I had some time to kill. I wasn't really worried about giving blood either. I've given blood once before and had hardly any problems with it. My favorite thing about donating blood is that you get free snacks after and a sticker saying how you donated blood today. Of course you also get that nice warm fuzzy feeling inside that you did something nice, but I really like stickers. So I went through the little sign up area and gave all the usual information they need to let you donate blood. After that I went into the little privacy booth area where you answer awkward questions so they can decide if sticking you're blood inside someone else will put them at risk of contracting a disease of some sort or if you're currently healthy enough to have some blood sucked out of you. Sometimes these questions make me giggle inside a little when they ask me about my sex life. Then you get to have a nurse come take all your vitals. This nurse seemed a little grouchy and didn't talk much. Part of taking the vitals is the dreaded finger prick. A lot of people will tell you its almost as bad as giving blood. I don't think so. I don't mind a little prick to the finger or all the blood that comes out after. I really can't fathom how a finger prick that small gushes out so much blood though, but its nothing a tissue and a bandaid can't handle.

After all my vitals checked out fine, the grouchy lady took my to the circle of chairs where they draw the blood. Here everyone was super cheery and nice. The needle went in fine and everything. I can't really let myself look since I hate needles. I though meditating thoughts to myself as the stuck it into my arm. It kinda hurt as it went in, but then it felt fine. The blood drawing people were running around being as cheery and helpful as possible always asking people how they felt and telling them how much blood how full their little baggy full of blood was and how much longer it would probably take to fill it. Other students were reading books or listening to music as they donated. I just kinda looked around and zoned out. Then one of the nurses asked my if I was feeling light headed since I had my hand on my head. I realized I was so I nodded and 3 nurses swarmed me and had my feet up and a cloth on my head in like 2 seconds. Some where through all this the arm that my needle was in started to hurt really badly, but with being light headed I wasn't thinking to mention this to anyone. I think they took the needle out earlier since my little bag was mostly full and I wasn't doing so well. The extra cheery nurse brought me a coke to help with my sugar levels and told me to stay seated for a while. Eventually she walked me to the table where the other donors were eating the snacks they always have and asked them to make sure I looked ok.

After being there for a while I still wasn't feeling better and I didn't want to be late for my lecture. Unfortunately, my lecture of about 250 students was on the fourth floor of the building. I think walking up all those stairs is what led to my downfall. I still had the coke with me as I made it to my seat in the middle of the lecture hall. I felt pretty ok and talked to the girl sitting next to me for a little bit. Then lecture started. I finished my coke and I started to notice that all the power points were getting really blurry. I kept trying to focus really hard to make everything look less blurry but it didn't work very well. I kept feeling like I was swaying a little bit and then my head started drooping. I think it was a few minutes later that I woke up on my desk. Apparently I passed out in lecture and nobody noticed or cared. To their credit they probably thought I was sleeping. Things were still blurry and I tried digging through my backpack to find a granola bar. It made really loud crunching noises when I ate it. I hope I didn't disrupt anyone's learning process. I felt really awkward eating it in the middle of class.

I made it back to the dorm all right. I decided to take the elevator up to my room this time. I was OK after that. Except for this gnarly bruise on my arm. At least I have something to show off since they weren't even giving stickers.

Despite all this I would still recommend giving blood. Personally a hate needles. I think its a good way to counter the repulsion I have to them while do some good for other. I know my O positive blood isn't rare or special, but I'm sure someone somewhere needs it. I'm totally willing to feel light-headed and take the risk of getting a cool looking bruise to help someone's health.

I think the bruise looks like a heart.

Love ,

Sassy Cat

My First Attempt at Sass

Hello new imaginary friends! (or mostly likely old not-quite-imaginary-friends who I've tricked into reading this random crap I decide to write on the internet) I decided to create this blog because I like to try new things, and it might have been recommended that I write a blog to enhance my writing ability. Soon I will have a profile picture, but I haven't had enough time to waste to create that yet. So here I am, my lovely sassy self, spreading my sassiness further into the world. So I hope I don't make a complete fool of myself, but I'm sure I will succeed at it at some point if I continue my sassing. So now that my first little message has been written I will go explore the world of blog settings. So I will see all you friends later! 


Bye
Sassy Cat